Monday, June 21, 2010

He's Just NOT that into me...

I have been absent for a while, from blog-ville, I mean.  One would expect that I'd be posting about the girls "Fabulous First Birthday Party"... and I will.  Today though, it's another 1 year old cutie-pie that's gracing the pages of my blog!

My best friend Heidi had a beautiful baby boy Rocco, just 4 weeks before the twincesses were born.  We weren't best friends when he was born, but we've grown very close over the past year.  Heidi and I, NOT Rocco and I.  I was working in OB for a Boston hospital and Heidi was a patient (she's given me permission to disclose that).  Heidi and I share a few mutual friends and her husband and I went to school together, so we weren't complete strangers when she became pregnant and started to come in for regular visits.  One day she invited me to lunch.  We went to Cheesecake factory and I almost canceled on her.  I had an ultrasound and OB appt that morning and was supposed to meet her after.  That was the day I found out that Ava wasn't growing as expected and I was hesitant to meet her for lunch as I was feeling very nervous and unsure.  But I was hungry.  And it was Cheesecake factory and she'd be waiting for me, so I went.  It was instant friendship.  We were both pregnant, both part of big Italian families, mine by birth and hers by marriage.  She was honest and funny and she loved eating and shopping... it was a match made in pregnant/mom friendship heaven!  Just a few days later she invited me to go walking... I was so nervous.  It was like a second date with a great guy.  You know, you don't want to mess up and ruin your chances for a future date!  The thing is, I am far from physically fit and I was pregnant with twins.  Heidi was just starting to limit her daily jog/walks to one lap around the local pond rather than 2 and was a 3 time marathoner.  I forgot my water and I swear I almost went into labor trying to keep up with her.  But, she was patient and we walked and talked and talked.  The cherry on top of my new found friendship was the fact that Heidi loved Jackson.  You mom's out there know what I am talking about, right?  Some friends ooh and aah at your kids, tell you your kids are cute and bring little trinkets when they come to visit.  But nothing compares to a friend that genuinely LOVES your kids.  And Heidi did.  An Jackson LOVES her too.

So it seemed only natural that when Heidi gave birth to Rocco, that I would love him too.  And I do.  Problem is, he doesn't feel the same way about me.  I am not sure when it started.  I visited him in the hospital just days after he was born and I held him and kissed his sweet little auburn head.  I helped him latch on, when he was having trouble nursing.  I bought him cute clothes, sang sweet songs and did all of the "right" things.  Kids love me, really they do!  Maybe it's the fact that he had his first real hunger fit while visiting Ava and Emma at the hospital the day they were born.  Maybe it's because I tried to give him a bottle when Heidi was at her wits end with his refusal to take a bottle and was exhausted from the round the clock nursing.  I am not sure?

It's no secret though.  Heidi tried to brush it off at first, she'd kind of jokingly deny it... "no, he loves you, he's just fussy" or "don't worry, he's like that with everyone".  But even she could not deny it any longer.  So about a month ago she dropped him off for the afternoon, to go to a meeting and when I tell you he cried for almost an hour, I mean he sobbed and hyperventilated and crawled to the door and tried to escape for almost an HOUR!!  That's a very long time in 12 month old land!  Well, it's not going to last forever right?  I had this picture in my head of the two of us, with our babies, always there for each other and of-course we are always there for each other.  I would never turn down a request to babysit Rocco, regardless of how upset he may be at the mere sight of me.  And Heidi has bravely watched all 3 of my kids, fed them and put them all to sleep, and she had with Rocco with her as well... seriously, that is a true friend!  Oh and I should note that the girls LOVE Heidi and are all smiles when they're with her. 

Today Heidi had an ultrasound appointment and would be finding out the gender of her second baby!  She mentioned not feeling comfortable bringing Rocco, since her husband may have to leave to keep Rocco quiet and happy and would really like to be there for the whole appointment.  I of-course offered to watch Rocco.  I was eager to see if he'd warm up to me and she's always looking for the chance to acclimate Rocco to being with others.  Rocco is very attached to his mommy and daddy, and with a new baby on the way, no time is better then the present!  It stared out OK.  I woke up early and prepped... it was like getting to know Heidi all over again.  I was nervous, afraid I'd mess up.  I made him waffles, since I know he likes carbs.  I put on Curious George (his favorite).  I made sure all of his favorite toys were out.  I smiled and appeared calm when Heidi and Rocco arrived (truly I was sweating like a pig and my heart was pounding).  Hedi placed Rocco on the carpet in front of the TV, kissed him on the forehead and left.  He was fine.  For the first 3 minutes.  Once he realized she was gone, he started to cry.  Although not as hysterically as last time.  He would calm down for a few seconds, distracted by the TV or a toy and then cry again for a bit.  It seemed liked forever, but when I looked at the clock, it was only about 10 minutes.  My mom came over to say good morning and I knew Rocco would be much happier if I could get him outside, so she sat with my kids for a few minutes, while I took Rocco for a walk in the wagon.  Walking down our cul-de-sac with Rocco in the wagon, I found myself in tears.  It's silly, I know.  He's just a baby and I shouldn't take it personally.  But I do.  I want him to love me, like I love him.  Like Jackson and the girls love Heidi.  I decided I would relax and stop thinking about it.  I know kids sense things and I was a mess.

It was actually a much better visit then we had anticipated.  We came back inside and Rocco was happy playing with Jackson and crawling around.  I also discovered that he is much happier when he isn't confined.  I opened up a panel to the play yard so he could crawl in an out and he was happier sitting inside the play area, just knowing he could get out.  I even got a few smiles out of him and when his Daddy came inside to pick him up, he didn't crawl to him in tears, like I had envisioned.

One day we'll look back and laugh at these memories.  I hope.  I imagine our kids will always be close and I hope they know how lucky they are to have friends that they have known their whole life.  One day Rocco will laugh at my silly faces.  Maybe he'll even jump into my lap for a bedtime story.  For now though, I just have to accept that he's just NOT that into me.

Let's hope his baby brother feels differently!  Congrats Heidi, Chris and Rocco, we can't wait to meet baby boy #2!!



Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Ava + Emma + Cake = LOVE!!

I am too tired to do a long and detailed post and the hundreds of pictures that I took today still need some editing!  I will say that it was a GREAT day, Ava and Emma were smiling from start to finish and of-course they LOVE cake!!

Happy Birthday my loves!!  

Stay tuned for a full 1st Birthday recap and more deliciously adorable pictures!!


Tuesday, June 1, 2010

ONE last post...

... before the Twincesses are ONE!!  Ava and Emma will be 1 in just under an hour!  I am not going to lie, I have been a bit of a wreck all day.  I just can't believe how quickly this past year has flown bye and I am missing the days where my babies were tiny and sleeping swaddled in their co-sleeper.  I truly look forward to each and every moment and milestone with my kids.  I can't wait to see Jackson get on the school bus one day.  I eagerly await the girls taking their first steps, saying "Jackson" for the first time, and so much more!  But it all happens way too fast for me.  And maybe a part of it, is that Ava and Emma are most likely the last babies I will have?  I was emotional when Jackson turned 1 also, but not like this.  I was in line at the party store tonight and I found myself holding back tears while looking up at the balloons I was picking up.  When I got home, the kids were in bed and Rick was in the kitchen, I handed him the balloons and started to cry.  He looked at me confused and said "Tanya, you do realize that we are keeping them, right... I mean you're acting like we have to give them back or something".

I decorated their high chairs tonight, I am sure they will be very excited to see the balloons.  Jackson made the girls each a birthday card, with some help from Rick and they came out really cute!  I need to get some sleep, we have a big day planned tomorrow and I want to get up early and make a big breakfast for my BIRTHDAY girls!  


Sunday, May 30, 2010

Memorial Day

We have had such beautiful weather here in Boston!  I hope all of you are enjoying your families and friends and  the long holiday weekend!    

I am also hoping that everyone finds a minute in between all of the BBQs, swimming, boating, spring cleaning, or whatever it is that you're up to this weekend, to stop think about all of the brave men and women who have served our country and have sacrificed their lives doing so.  For without them, we wouldn't have the freedom to do so many of the things we often take for granted.

Thanks to my grandfather, my father-in-law, my husband and our dear friends still serving us.  Special thanks to those who have made the greatest sacrifice and to their families.  May you have peace this Memorial Day.


Saturday, May 15, 2010

Saturday Snapshot: Sneakers

I love this picture of all of our sneakers lined up, it reminds me that we are a family of FIVE!!


Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Way Back Wednesday: Soccer

Jackson's been begging to play soccer lately!  We are signing him up at the Local YMCA, since it seems he's genuinely tortured by the idea of waiting for the 1 week clinic in August that's offered by our town recreation dept.

These pics were taken in July of 2008, also at the YMCA.  As you can sort of tell, Jackson didn't really get into it.  He was always looking the wrong way, or running in the oppoite direction and his favorite part was the water breaks.  To be honest, the 45 minute session was more like a long water break with a couple 5 minute soccer ball chasing sessions sprinkled in for good measure!

Below are some pictures taken last week at my sister, Allison's house and as you can see, he has definitely improved!  Jackson's cousins, Orlando, 11 and Justin, 9 are super athletes and especially good at Soccer!  Of-course they are also the coolest kids on the planet, so Jackson is all the more excited to improve his skills and "play with the big boys"!!


Monday, May 10, 2010

Makes My Monday: We have a walker!!

Gotcha!  I'll bet you thought one of the Twincesses had taken her first steps.  Nope.  Not even close actually, but they are both crawling now.  Well technically they are army crawling, but they look more like little inch-worms.

One of my twin mom friends gave us a walker and Ava and Emma LOVE it.  It's super cute and has a nice tray that can be used for a snack or some toys.  We don't have much space, so the plan was to keep it at my mom's house and bring it to my sister's house next door, when we have a family get together there, which is quite often lately!  Well they are just so damn cute cruising around, so we decided to move some of the other toys and gear into the kids room so they could use the walker at home too.

I know everyone has their own thoughts on walkers and whether they are safe and developmentally appropriate, blah, blah, blah.  Our EI specialist thinks it's just fine and I am not planning on leaving the girls in it for ours on end, so I am not worried about it.  Oh, and we have no stairs.

So now my only issue is debating getting a second one, since whichever baby is not in the walker is in serious danger of getting run over by a crazy baby in a walker!!